April 21, 2011. Noon. I was having lunch in a beautiful cafe by the lake. It was a lovely, sunny day in California. My phone rang. I glanced at the number. New York. I picked up the receiver. The lady on the other end sounded muffled and grave. “Is this Faye Kovler?” she called me by my maiden name.
“Speaking,” my heart slowed, I held my breath.
“Your mother, Gita Kovler, just passed. My deepest condolences.”
That’s it. She said it. I felt numb and dumb. I wanted to immediately call my mother to tell her, to share as I’ve always shared news with her. Suddenly I realized that I won’t be able to do that ever again… I didn’t feel sadness, I felt fear. How can a child live without her mama? What will I do? Who is going to support me and cheer me up? Who will I have to prove to that I am able and capable? Who will I fight with? Who will I laugh with? Who will I cry to?
I didn’t realize until that moment what she had been to me in my life. She was ferocious and controlling, demanding and judgmental… And…. She was a chisel that shaped me into the person I became today. She loved me unconditionally and fought for me. She pushed me to my excellence. I miss her. I miss her so much it’s hard to breathe sometimes. I know she is there for me in spirit. Yet, how wonderful it would have been to share with her, “Mom, I published a book!”, “Mom, it became a bestseller!”, “Mom, I am a speaker now!”, “Mom….. I love you….”
I was sitting in the front row at the Brendon Burchard’s Experts Academy, and his mother appeared on stage as he introduced her to attendees in deepest gratitude… Tears were flowing down my cheeks, and I felt envious…. I know, I shouldn’t have but I did. I wanted my mama to see me. I wanted her to be proud of me.
Moms are changing the world through us, children. I’ve dedicated my book to my parents. Both deceased. It’s strange to be an adult and yet feel sad for being an orphan. I thought only children can be orphans. It’s not true.
So, today, I choose to celebrate my mama, Mamochka, with you. My ebook, Choreography of Awakening will be on special sale beginning April 22nd through April 26th. And if you want to know more about my parents go straight to Chapter 8.
But if I could ask for something…. I’d ask you to buy my book and give it to your mom. I’d ask you to fulfill that yearning of mine for me. And for YOU.
I’m sending my love to you and to your mom…..
Thank you for reading, and thank you for being part of my life…