Finding Your Identity as a Public Speaker

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Finding Your Identity as a Public Speaker

“What do you do?” I am asked by a woman at a networking event.

“I am a world-class speaker, bestselling author, and top performance mastery coach!” I boldly and confidently reply.

Her eyebrows fly high. She looks perplexed. Such arrogance is unnerving. However, I am not concerned with her feelings. I say these words at every opportunity I get. It’s my mantra. I am not saying these words to impress or to brag. I am training my subconscious mind to know who I am, and what I intend. I train my gut! I train my heart! I train every cell of my body! My mind will have to work for me to serve me in creating my “world-class” identity.

“So, are you famous?” she may timidly ask. “Um, no. Not YET!…”

By the look on her face, I conclude that she is confused. Why am I saying that I am world-class if I am not famous? This is where the interesting discussion takes place.

“Why aren’t you learning all you can about mediation?” I ask my lawyer-client, who came to me to work on her confidence and empowerment.

“What’s the use?” she says, “I am not doing it right now anyway. When I will do mediations, then I’ll learn all I need for a client.”

“We need to schedule lessons to work on mental preparation for a competition,” I tell a mother of one of my skating students.

“Yes, we’ll do that when she makes it to Nationals. If she doesn’t make it, it won’t matter anyway, right?”

I hear this all the time. And the sad truth is, this lawyer will not work with clients, and this student will not make it to Nationals. Why? Because we get what we believe in. If I believed that I will for sure work with clients, or make it to Nationals, I wouldn’t mind putting in extra effort, and finding ways of making it happen! But if you have a fear or doubt of failure, you won’t invest your time, energy, or money, so you’ll look for an excuse not to do it. Most of the people live in the paradigm “I’ll believe it, when I see it, show me the results, and I will follow!”

My Perfect Day

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I had an interesting realization today. A friend of mine asked: “How is your day going?” Thinking about how my day has been unfolding I winced. All the minutes and hours I wasn’t productive with my time, all the wasted opportunities, procrastination… passed through my mind.

“Good… but not as good as I wanted it to be…” I replied. Once I hang up the phone the statement “not as good as I wanted it to be” stuck with me. Suddenly I heard this voice asking:

“Is it really true? Is it true that your day didn’t unfold to your liking?”

“Of course it is!” I heard myself reply in irritation, coming up with all the proofs of absolute certainty in my rightness. On spur of moment I stopped, hearing myself rumbling all the pathetic excuses. What’s the point to argue with this voice when the fact is, if I wanted to have a different day, really different, I could have made different choices.


I could have set my alarm clock half an hour earlier…

I could have jump out of bed without snoozing the alarm five times…

I could have made it to the morning yoga class…

I could have…

I had an opportunity to choose exactly what I wanted to do, and I did. The outcome of my choices may not be a reflection of “what I wanted,” but I always had a choice to do exactly as I wished in the moment. Therefore, the naked, plain truth is–my day unfolded perfectly, exactly as I wanted, and it always does!


What is Your Message?

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“If you bring forth what is within you,

What you bring forth will save you.

If you do not bring forth what is within you,

What you do not bring forth will destroy you.”

-Gospel of St. Thomas


“You are not here to tell stories. You are here to deliver a message.” I woke up one day with this phrase spinning in my head like a mantra. It got me thinking, and it got me a whole new career I had no intention of pursuing (at first)… I wrote a book and became a “messenger”…

I am here to deliver a message to you…

            Message—is the energy in the story,

            It is “Water” in the container, 

            “Medicine” in the pill.

It transforms people’s lives and it lives through the ages.  You have a message to deliver. As a matter of fact, your entire life is this message.

The other day I told you how critical your story, your voice, your presence, your body language are for success…. All of the above are the tools of delivery! But what will you deliver?

What is your message?

What is your promise?

What do you want your audience to learn?

What do you want them to learn about you?

Why is it important to you?

Why should it be important to them?

Who are they?

In my Warrior Speaker Boot Camp, we will touch upon these questions and more to connect you to your core, your why, your purpose and the authentic message that only you can bring forth to the world, and you must! We will also discuss and practice techniques of audience control and preparing yourself for speaking.

Only 1 day left to register and only 3 spots left. You have opened this email, you are reading these words. You know that I am speaking directly to you right now.


Register here.

I see YOU on Saturday.

Coach Faye


Are you saying what you are saying?

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“If you want to find the truth, do not listen to the  words coming to you. Rather see the body language of the speaker. It speaks the fact not audible.” ~Bhavesh Chhatbar 

Did you know that only 8% of our communication is communicated through words? Body language accounts for 55%!  How aware are you of your body language? What are you saying without saying?

Watch this video to learn more:

In my Warrior Speaker Boot Camp I will teach you the techniques on how to improve your body language.

“I got sooooo much from this group! Thank you!!!!… In no way it could be done “home alone”.  Need a Coach Faye Kitariev M.A. and a group!” Irina Shulkin, previous WSBC attendee.

To register for the WSBC click this link.

This is your chance to learn body language of confidence and success and dramatically increase your effectiveness in all areas of your life. If you haven’t yet, be sure to claim your place right now. Only 5 seats left. Register here.

The next person to sign up will receive a Bonus: a 45 minute 1-on-1 Discovery session with coach Faye personally, valued at $500.  Only 1 Bonus session left.

If you are my previous, or current student or a graduate of WSBC and would like to repeat the training, email Heart ( and receive a 25% discount code.


To your success,

Coach Faye

P.S. Tomorrow we will take on Elevator Speech.

High Performance Voice

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“His voice is deep and gravelly. I once heard one of the girls say that he had the voice of a sex god, but because I’ve never really heard what a sex god sounds like, I can’t verify that.” – M. Marcchetta

He sent me a wink, I sent a smile, he sent a message, I sent a response. On-line dating at it’s best. Ever experienced that? Okay, I admit it! I fell prey to on-line marketing machine promising to find you the “forever-after-perfectly-engineered-scientific-match.”  After five-line exchange it was obvious that we were meant for each other and agreed to Skype for our first date. My search was over, and at the appointed time we exchanged the first “Helloes!”  And right there in an instant it was all over for me. I couldn’t stand hearing his high pitch, monotoned voice, not at all a voice of a “sex god,” not my “sex god” anyway. No matter how much I tried to convince myself to change my mind. I politely found a way to finish a conversation and we never talked again. It wasn’t his fault, and he never even knew why I didn’t want to continue.

Until that day I never gave a thought to the power our voice carries in everyday communication, relationship, presentation or business. However, it wasn’t apparent to me that we can actually train our voices so they sound in a way that people want to hear us. We don’t have to be stuck with only one voice! As a matter of fact we should have different voices for different situations. To become a world-class speaker I sought out the best voice teachers in the world. Just last weekend was spent at the Voice of Success intensive with renowned Roger Love. Roger trained such stars as Tony Robbins, John Grey, Brendon Burchard as well as illustrious singers— Jacksons and Beach Boys. My friend, Giedrius Reklaitis, took scrupulous notes during the training and put them together. He graciously allowed me to share his notes with you. Click here to read his notes.

When you attend Warrior Speaker Boot Camp this Saturday, you will learn and practice the best of the voice exercises I do daily. These exercises were specifically distilled for their effectiveness to produce the fastest results in improving strength of your vocal cords, volume, pitch, tonality and projection.

You can’t even begin to imagine the tremendous value you will receive from attending WSBC!

To learn more about it, click here. You can still get an Early Bird Discount if you register now, and as a special BONUS for the first ones to take action —45 min private consultation with me, valued at $500!!! But… you must fill out this questionnaire.

I am thrilled to be your coach and guide to success!

Coach Faye

P.S. Tomorrow, we will talk about body language for congruent delivery of your message. Stay tuned!

The Power of Your Story

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“A beggar had been sitting by the side of a road for over thirty years. One day a stranger walked by. “Spare some change?” mumbled the beggar, mechanically holding out his old baseball cap. “I have nothing to give you,” said the stranger. Then he asked: “What’s that you are sitting on?” “Nothing,” replied the beggar. “Just an old box. I have been sitting on it for as long as I can remember.” “Ever looked inside?” asked the stranger. “No,” said the beggar. “What’s the point? There’s nothing in there.” “Have a look inside,” insisted the stranger. The beggar managed to pry open the lid. With astonishment, disbelief, and elation, he saw that the box was filled with gold.”

I loved this story from the moment I heard Eckart Tolle sharing it. Stories just stick with me and they stick with our customers, fans and followers…

The truth is, most of us are “beggars.”  We “sit” on the “old boxes” full of stories we lived through. Some of these stories were hard won battles some lost ones. We take them for granted, believing  “there is nothing in there.”

Like many, for the longest time, I lived in the space of “who needs to hear this….” One day I attended a seminar, where everything changed! The speaker told his personal story in such a way that I realized there wasn’t one story in my life that belonged to ME! I was selfish to hold down to them on one hand— they could potentially change the lives of so many people! On the other, shared, they could change mine! I was literally sitting on the “box filled with gold!”

Divorce? Great!

Bankruptcy? Better!

Disease? Amazing!

Not only I could feel better inside myself as I chose to look at everything as if it all happened for my highest good, but also help others for the highest good of all concerned!  I started teaching this to my clients, and they have begun reporting crazy results! Patricia Garza, Founder of EvolMotion, not only took her business to the next level, but also won an award for the Most Influential Latino Woman in SoCal!

In my upcoming workshop Warrior Speaker Boot Camp, I will teach you

  1. How to share your story for the biggest impact
  2. Help you to find the right story to share
  3. Give you a feedback as you will practice sharing your story.

If you are a business owner, you are most likely missing out on one of the most powerful resources in your possession. People make millions of dollars and change the lives of millions of people with nothing more but a well-presented story!

Are you serious about your business, life, making a difference? Register for the Warrior Speaker Boot Camp NOW. This is the last workshop of the year!

WSBC is an exclusive and private event! I expect it to be sold out. Register early for an Early Bird Discount. Go here NOW. First 3 people registering for the event and filling out this questionnaire will also receive a BONUS—45 min private consultation with me, valued at $500!!!

Don’t wait, open your “Old Box” now, and see what’s inside!  Register NOW!

P.S. Of course, to share your story well you need to have a VOICE! Tomorrow, I’ll tell you about the voice and give you awesome tools you’ll be able to use right away. Stay tuned!


To your success,

Coach Faye





Are You Missing Out On The Greatest Resource Available To You?…

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Do you want to have more confidence, vibrancy, focus, rapport and influence? If the answer is “YES” read on…

Yesterday, I sent you a letter where I introduced you to the 7 areas of focus for successful speaking (and business) with the promise to take on each area individually.

So, today I’d like to pick presence.

Recently, I stopped by a local bicycle store and was surprised  to see a beautiful turquoise chameleon resting on the wooden branch enhancing the sales counter. Fascinated by the unusual animal, I wanted to take a closer look. The chameleon was sitting to the left of me, looking in the opposite direction. Slowly, I took a breath in and while holding it, stepped quietly towards the animal. Aware of my presence, it tensed and moved one eye in my direction, readying for possible danger. The gap between us was still at least 2 feet apart, yet the creature knew I was there…

Just as a chameleon sensed my presence, we too are very sensitive to the presence of others. Without one word, we can establish a friendly or hostile contact. To be liked or disliked, trusted or untrusted. The difference between us— humans and animals, is that we often ignore this powerful tool available to us. In the animals’ world, their very survival depends on their own presence and the sensitivity to the presence of others. In the sports and performing arts, the same is true. Those with more “presence”  achieve  greater results and notoriety, develop more influence and impact the world.

As ambitious figure skating coach, with a dream of coaching at the Olympics, I realized this early in my career. In skating, we called presence the “IT” factor. Some athletes had “IT” and others didn’t. I didn’t believe it to be true and dedicated many years of my life studying what “IT” was and developing the methodology on how to consistently and quickly teach “IT” to all of my students, which I did with huge success.

As I moved away from skating, I noticed that presence is just as important for success in business and personal relationships as it was in skating competitions. However, just like in skating, only very elite speakers and entrepreneurs are consciously aware of this “quality” and have consistent rituals and discipline to develop more of IT. I was surprised how successful I became the very first time I spoke publicly, all because of the years of dedicated to presence practice. I was immediately labeled as a “natural speaker.”

In my Warrior Speaker Boot Camp, will teach you the very same tools and techniques I used to teach my elite skaters and myself to develop world-class presence. You will be shocked how quickly you’ll be able to go into “presence” state, become more vibrant, confident, and centered. In the small class setting you will receive individualized attention, so you will feel and see the immediate difference.

To register for the Warrior Speaker Boot Camp, click this link NOW.

Again, this is a very exclusive and private event! I expect it to be sold out. Please register early! Go here NOW for the registration. First 3 people registering for the event and filling out this questionnaire will receive 45 min private consultation with me, valued at $500!!!

Don’t wait to claim YOUR TICKET to the Extra Mile! Register NOW!


To your success,

Coach Faye

7 Areas of Focus for Successful Speaking

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Only 31 days left before the end of the year. While this is the time we think about presents, Christmas decorations and celebrations, business owners know that this is a critical time to plan ahead and get ready for the next year. How will you present yourself? What is your vision? What new skills do you need to develop to position yourself ahead of the competition? A friend of mine said to me today, “I don’t understand some people. You give them a ticket to the extra mile, to win, but they won’t go there.” I had to agree, although, I am thrilled to know that so many of you are real movers and shakers, go-getters who are making a contribution to the world.

As a competitive figure skating coach, I was always looking for the opportunities to learn new tools to teach my athletes so we had an edge over the competition. The truth is, our customers will go and spend their money somewhere, why not with us? That was my mindset as a skating coach, and still is as a High-Performance Coach. Someone will win the Olympics, why not me? Now this maybe just a metaphor, but it applies to life on so many levels. What could you do to add a little edge? Many different things, and it is up to you to sit down and figure it out. It is selfish not to! Here, I will propose a couple of tactics.

  1. Mindset
  2. Speaking skills

Today, I’d like to focus on speaking skills. Up to date I attest that speaking has brought me tremendous fulfillment: emotionally, mentally, financially and spiritually! However, you must excel in it! There are 7 areas of focus:

  1. Presence
  2. Story
  3. Voice
  4. Body language
  5. Message
  6. Audience Control
  7. Preparation

These are the topics I cover in my Warrior Speaker Boot Camp that’s coming up this Saturday. (Watch your email box in the next several days as I will take on each of the 7 areas.)

Here is the link to registration.

This is a very exclusive and private event! I expect it to be sold out. Please register early! Go here NOW for the registration. First three people registering for the event and filling out this questionnaire will receive 45 min private consultation with me, valued at $500!!!

Don’t wait to claim YOUR TICKET to the Extra Mile! Register NOW!

To your success!

Coach Faye

It begins with a little snooze…

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4:15 am. My alarm goes off. Time to jump out of bed, but, wait… “You only got four hours of sleep” my mind reminds me. “You don’t have to force yourself, just 5 more minutes…You have plenty of time. You can still do everything you scheduled!”

Sounds very convincing and true. And like a puppet on a string my hand hits the snooze button…

I hug my blanket a little tighter and enjoy few more minutes of sleep. Then a few more… It’s no harm… Finally I get up at 4:33 feeling groggy and still tired. Snoozing didn’t help me to feel any better. In fact, it made me feel worse. For most people’s standards 4:33 am is still very early. For me too. Yet I made a decision to begin my day before sunrise, exactly at 4:15 am. And with FIRST alarm! A commitment. And I failed…

I am a Certified High Performance Coach – more so Performance Mastery Coach. There is a subtle difference between these titles. High Performance is more about the physical aspect of life, something visible and doable. You can see the results of your labor. Performance Mastery, on the other hand, is more about mastering the unseen, the mind. This is where we start our conversation about “potential.” Human potential lies in the world of the “unseen”, like the invisible body of an iceberg hidden beneath the water surface.

What does “snooze” have to do with potential?


I remember the day vividly. I was in my meditation when I almost heard the voice. “You want to become the Master? Begin with your wake-up time. Master the “wake-up.”

WOW!!! I was a “snooze queen” for years. No. More like for a lifetime! Mornings were my hardest time of the day. I guess people would call me a “night owl.” But it wasn’t serving me. I had to change. I wanted to change. I was tired of being late everywhere and putting off for later things that were difficult for me. I was feeling intensely jealous of all those people that were organized, on time, productive, and early risers. Sure, I had many beautiful qualities within me too. And I was successful. But I really wanted those qualities “they” had: impeccability, strength of heart, discipline.

I watched my best friend become a World Bronze Medalist in figure skating because she had that ability to do the “difficult.” Everyday I would wake up after 3-4 snoozes telling myself, “This this is the last time.” “Tomorrow I will start new life.” I didn’t see that “tomorrow” is a “snooze” on today! I didn’t see that extra piece of chocolate, or bread, or order of french fries was a “snooze” on my health, on my body. On my Self.

On my LIFE!

Mastering the “wake-up” is not about getting up at 4:15 am every morning. It’s not about having an early start for the day. It’s not about time at all.

It’s about conquering your mind. It’s about awareness. It’s about transformation. You must have heard the phrase, “Mind over matter.” It is true. Your mind rules over your body. However, you are not your mind. If your mind becomes your master you are doomed!

An untrained mind is like an untrained dog. It loves you. But it chews your furniture, poops in the corners of your house, and pees on the carpet. It rationalizes that it’s OK just this one time… then one more. Then one more. Until it becomes a very powerful habit that is very difficult to break. “Your habits create YOU!” my spiritual teacher would say. It took me a while to really grasp this idea, to make it my own! The truth is, it’s not about “mind over matter.” It’s about YOU over mind, then mind over matter.

Where in your life are you “snoozing”? How would your life improve if “snoozing” was no longer an option? How would your life turn around if you learned the techniques of mastering your mind?

Imagine for a moment what would happen to the top of an iceberg if you started transforming the part under water?

Think further… What would its impact be on the ocean? Earth? Atmosphere? Solar system? Universe? One ripple in the water changes the world. One “iceberg” that no longer snoozes does far more. That’s the power of transforming the mind.

Are you ready to make a change?

Contact me to find out how you could work with me on changing your life by training your mind.

In Honor of My Mom

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IMG_3820April 21, 2011. Noon. I was having lunch in a beautiful cafe by the lake. It was a lovely, sunny day in California. My phone rang. I glanced at the number. New York. I picked up the receiver. The lady on the other end sounded muffled and grave. “Is this Faye Kovler?” she called me by my maiden name.
“Speaking,” my heart slowed, I held my breath.

“Your mother, Gita Kovler, just passed. My deepest condolences.”

That’s it. She said it. I felt numb and dumb. I wanted to immediately call my mother to tell her, to share as I’ve always shared news with her. Suddenly I realized that I won’t be able to do that ever again… I didn’t feel sadness, I felt fear. How can a child live without her mama? What will I do? Who is going to support me and cheer me up? Who will I have to prove to that I am able and capable? Who will I fight with? Who will I laugh with? Who will I cry to?

I didn’t realize until that moment what she had been to me in my life. She was ferocious and controlling, demanding and judgmental… And…. She was a chisel that shaped me into the person I became today. She loved me unconditionally and fought for me. She pushed me to my excellence. I miss her. I miss her so much it’s hard to breathe sometimes. I know she is there for me in spirit. Yet, how wonderful it would have been to share with her, “Mom, I published a book!”, “Mom, it became a bestseller!”, “Mom, I am a speaker now!”, “Mom….. I love you….”

I was sitting in the front row at the Brendon Burchard’s Experts Academy, and his mother appeared on stage as he introduced her to attendees in deepest gratitude… Tears were flowing down my cheeks, and I felt envious…. I know, I shouldn’t have but I did. I wanted my mama to see me. I wanted her to be proud of me.

Moms are changing the world through us, children. I’ve dedicated my book to my parents. Both deceased. It’s strange to be an adult and yet feel sad for being an orphan. I thought only children can be orphans. It’s not true.

So, today, I choose to celebrate my mama, Mamochka, with you. My ebook, Choreography of Awakening will be on special sale beginning April 22nd through April 26th. And if you want to know more about my parents go straight to Chapter 8.
But if I could ask for something…. I’d ask you to buy my book and give it to your mom. I’d ask you to fulfill that yearning of mine for me. And for YOU.
I’m sending my love to you and to your mom…..
Thank you for reading, and thank you for being part of my life…

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